Please note that the names, details and circumstances of the clients are either fictive or changed in such a way that there are no identifiable factors! Privacy is of outmost importance!

Bill is wanting to work with a Life Coach in order to find some balance in his life. His family life is suffering because he doesn’t spend enough time with his wife and three kids, and his work life might suffer because the manager he employed to run his company feels like he is not trusted, as Bill is still overseeing every decision made.

I believe Bill has every intention to take a step back from running his company, as he did hire an experienced manager to run it. I imagine that Bill has built his company from the ground up, and that could not have been an easy job. For someone to build something big, there is a true desire to build on quality, which will in turn offer a very good financial situation. A lot of time and effort and sacrifice would go in the project, and it’s difficult to leave a stranger to run it.

I believe Bill is finding it difficult to take a step back and leave Simon to run his company because he is worried/scared that all his work, a company built on his effort and vision, might take a fall if is it not run by someone who has a lot to lose, someone with a personal interest in the success of the company.

I believe that anyone who has built something successful deserves a lot of praise and respect. Bill worked hard to ensure financial security for himself and his family, and it’s understandable that he should want to protect that. From his perspective, he is only doing what he feels it’s best for himself and his family, therefore it is difficult to understand his wife’s, kid’s or Simon’s perspective.

However, from Simon’s perspective, he is not allowed to do a job he was hired for. Trust is a big part, and whilst it is difficult to just trust someone, Simon has worked there for 2 years and didn’t give Bill a reason not to trust him. Therefore, it is understandable that Simon would like to leave. If Simon were to leave, Bill would be in an even worse situation, making it even more important that Bill works out what is keeping him from trusting Simon to run the company efficiently.

From his kid’s perspective, Bill is not spending enough time with them, as most days he doesn’t see them at all, leaving before they get up, and coming back after they went back to sleep. It’s understandable that the kids would like more quality time with their dad. The fact that Bill is not forced by the circumstances, but rather he consciously chooses to continue not being involved, makes it even more difficult for the kids to understand him and not be hurt.

From his wife’s perspective, Bill is not fulfilling his duties as a husband and father, and this way more responsibilities fall on her. Just as in the kid’s case, she knows he could cut down on his hours, and he chooses not to. Not only that, but he makes promises he only keeps for a shirt while, which is frustrating for everyone involved.

One thing I would keep in my perspective with this client, is that he genuinely does a good job on most fronts, and he his actions have the best intentions at the base.

However, even Bill understands that something has to change in order to maintain his relationship with his family while ensuring the company is well looked after. And the fact that he did make the step of seeking support from a Life Coach, means he is ready to make the necessary changes.

 Action plan

 a.     I would ensure that during our collaboration, he understands that I do not judge him, and that him wanting to make the changes doesn’t mean he is giving anything up, but rather gaining something valuable back, such as time with his family

b.     Bill could work actively on his relationship with Simon and be honest with him about how difficult it is for him to step back from something he put years of his life into. Building a good relationship with Simon will allow him to eventually start taking more time off without worrying.

c.     He could make an agreement with Simon, that rather than Bill overseeing everything, Simon feels safe to come to Bill when he feels a problem is major and he cannot safely manage it

d.     Bill can discuss with his wife and explain that he is actively working on a plan to reduce his hours at the company. He can also ask for her input and discuss practical terms; what does more time mean for her and the kids? How many hours or days a week? Due to the pressure coming from his wife, it would be most beneficial to have her involved in the plan. This will put both their minds at ease, and the transition period can be easily observed and measured by both of them.

e.     Once this has been discussed, Bill can start working on the practical plan

f.      Bill might benefit from a phased process of reducing his hours. The plan can look something like this:

-       over the next twelve weeks, he will reduce his hours on a weekly basis.

-       Week one, he can choose one day and go home earlier, and plan something with the kids

-       Week two, he can do that for two days. It doesn’t always have to be a plan made with the family, just being home with them will be enough

-       Week three and four will stay the same as week two

-       Week five Bill can go home early three days a week

-       Weeks six and seven can stay the same

-       Week eight Bill can go home early four days a week

-       Weeks nine and ten can stay the same

-       Weeks eleven and twelve Bill can go home early every day

Another important factor to consider is that at times there might be emergencies, and Bill might not be able to keep with the program. In that case, two things need to happen: Bill has to discuss openly with his wife and explain the situation, having her involved in the conversation and secondly, the understanding that there is no perfection, some weeks can go as planned, and others won’t, and it might take longer or less than twelve weeks. But as long as there is real effort and open conversation, this has a very good chance of success.